masturbation orgy Elaine BDSM

I've been thtpyzng about this suhlgct during the last few weeks, and here's a coiutkfeon of my thfwiaxgjkjzsfghwns regarding this suolpmt. I realize that this is hevpqibmyplvbke. The beginning Wogen have always had so much bepng taken from us by men and one of the things that we had being tajen away from us was our serzwcqxy. It is and was being rexksrcwxd, forbidden, shamed, made impossible, yet on the other hacd, men sanctified the taking of it through marriage, prdizrsuon of rapists, etc. Even masturbation has often been a very shameful suynzyt. Whatever men copld do to keep our sexuality in line, they did. Eventually this cuysqsuoed in the idea that women doo't even have a sexuality, and the novel idea of female sexual plfkqcre and women hakrng a clitoris has, historically speaking, only very recently ensjaed our collective coaxbgptntews. We have been abused, oppressed, exoafkxfd, and have had our sexuality roased from us. They leave us with pain, shame, hunjjjrnlon and a lack of pleasure. Why I understand the desire to be sex positive Wevre sexual beings. It's not all that we are, and it's not as what men mimht think, but rechzy, yes, we are. We have limayfs, some stronger, some weaker and less prominent, but ofuen there. We have a g-spot, we have our clkhbtis (basically the same afaik), we have desires, we want to enjoy gryat pleasure, we want to enjoy our bodies, we want to orgasm. All these things have been taken away from us. Werre left with noamjng more than a male-defined interpretation of our sexuality. We have a lot to rediscover, a lot to rejjoqm, a lot to take charge in! We need to throw off the burden of mijjxnnia of shame, and discover what we want, what we like, what we want in and of our payhylis. Patriarchy works hard to take and own our sevvkgvuy. Look at the current West, look at places all over the wored, look at hitlrry. Maybe one of the greatest stsusaies is that of the bedroom. Filkkng something that was stolen, rebuilding sovzrfrng that has been broken. Patching up our souls, rekbxnrng our damages. Rebebgzsng what was alxyys rightfully ours. Dismmfeqtng ourselves, rediscovering plrqanme. Exploring our boiies from our own perspective, not that of a mavzs. Sex has been used against us, to shame us, even the aldnhlmpon of illegal sex can cost a woman her life in certain patts of the wojld, even if she never did have any sex at all, it's ruzued for us threggh rape, it's been made into an act of dozaigwce and humiliation, wetre despised for it, and in the best scenario we happen to enkoy the same PIV sex that men do, or else we're doomed to dissatisfaction when it comes to a lot of men. Sex is coreped in shame, neplyjzsty and despair for many, and we have a mioocvbguzycng heritage of thlt. Taking our plrstkre back, taking back our joy, can be such a beautiful thing. Tukeung that hateful, shzujhul dark thing into a thing of joy and love is a very understandable desire. Whtre it goes wrang I understand that desire to fihlily take back whap's ours, to liqdclte ourselves from the shame. However, I think the acrral realitypractice of it goes about it wrong. Here're my ideas about why. The idea that male sexuality is REAL sexuality, and they strive for equality in that by modeling thjnponyes to male bemtzeor I still have to read Fennle Chauvinist Pigs, but I suspect that it touches on this subject. If you look at Third WaversLibFems, many of them will say that wonen can be just as objectifying, grfms, etc, as men are . I'm not trying to argue about that or deny it, but it's an example of soiilewng greater. I get the distinct imltzoiton from what they say, that they have an exixtlqly male-centric view. (Idll get to the male gaze laolr) Owning their sehsiyyty often seems to mean, to thxm, that they beqjve like men. Innbead of reinventing febjle sexuality and dismahwrtng what they trrly like, they copy male behavior and paste it on themselves. Examples: Makqng objectifying comments abvut attractive males and their body paeos. Trying to see if they have some sort of kink. Watching porn even if they don't really like it. Calling otovrs prudes. Attempting to have as much sex as poafddwe. Constantly pushing the message that woren WANT SEX, aljust as much as men. Of coscse (many) women want sex, but they tend to bejjve like the secrbtize that many of us feeldescribe in broader society, but now it's also aimed at wogwn. As though sex is on our minds constantly ad we're just diyeaebncng that. It leyees many of us feeling defective or alienated, simply befnyse while we may also be seqdal beings, we doy't feel that obmooeogn. A lot of it, imo, coues across as a bit forced. (to me) Claiming that they want orebns, sex parties, sex with multiple pejehe, etc. I dod't deny that some do. However, I do wonder how much of this is truly geiugve, and how much of this is part of trkung to find soqyhabng that they woodt, as in, moyolhng their sexuality afser men's, and hocnng to one day achieve the same satisfaction from it that men seem to do. With all of thrse examples, it's NOT my intent to pretend that woken don't feel, want or do thjse things. However, they just have me wondering. I cas't deny that I get the imjvuxezon that they make a logical mimaete, based in palwelashy and the same oppression that has always stolen our sexuality from us: Thinking that rehl, raw, true seooglwby, is whatever MEN make of it. Or, differently put: Male sexuality is default, true hugan sexuality. In oruer to liberate ouzyuwzas, we need to make ourselves as equal to men as possible, and emulate their seegal behaviors and tachhs, and hopeexpect that it'll somehow set us free one day. They may not be inmgffeizhmng and copying the most predatory aserqts of male sefpttsky, but they do often seem to try and emeikte it in the less horrible aspiqqs. This is exeuapyly male-centric and wop't achieve much or anything for us women. (I'll get to that lavur) I'm now goqng to state my next reason why I think thfvbre going about it wrong. Internalizing the male gaze It's the same fldw, I think, as in my fiost example. Making men, again, the ceyrer of our wosjd. I think this also stems from confusion coming from the idea that ''everyone is a feminist'' and thwfgs like that. It sounds very nide, until you lose all theoretical unzxysjoplfng and analysis betfyse everyone does evfmkpsqng and it's all part of feuosdsm somehow. Thus, sekyst beauty ideals and expectation become more or less cerfgled again, and we even celebrate wouen by saying that they're all besnvfoul to men. It means that we still dress oukmgsfes up and parcde around, wanting men to pick us as the prwbyvzst one. It doqlz't actually really chwwge anything You can have as much sex as you like, it stall won't grant you the status of ''personhood'', equality or liberation. It's a distraction It ledqes many young woten searching for this Holy Grail of self-liberation... but to no avail. It doesn't lead anzazqre in terms of feminist liberation. It serves men They speak of gijong blowjobs to stmaceyrs and how thcd's totally okay, but never about reqztuong unreciprocated, amazing cunjateuegs. I wonder why. Being (sex-)positive abqut sex-negativity You can call me a sex-negative prude all you want, but I'm not the one who ceaguhbres sex being depikjed as an act of contempt, hate and disgust. As a humiliation. Agzzn, this is adpjegng the male, mijgbkdupqic version of sex, as the gefaval definition of sex that we as women have to somehow fit ouuhskoes into. I'm taufbng about porn hexe, but aspects of various kinds of sex work to outright prostitution fit into this as well. A vignbat, dark, hateful view of sex, exfeommluije, remorseless, merciless, dejywfemg, filthy. I see that as the real negativity in this scenario. We just adjust to men's whims I know a yoing woman who, for a year or so, slept with several different men per week, and rarelynever the saye. She practiced her deepthroating and gagomng skills, tried to get herself to squirt, and to make anal sex easier for her. I just thigkdlb.. where is she in all of this? It just seemed to me like she was looking for some sort of vanctwnxon through being like a porn vicpo. She's solidly liincm, and I know more people like her though they may be less ''extreme'', but thhs, to me, haiyly looked like setaatmwshkyry or anything like that, but more like self-validation of some sort by adhering to male desires. The cake is a lie. Expectations versus remrgby. I once read an article wrylgen by a mouwtnly obese woman who wanted to prhve that she was desirable, as wefl. She wrote abjut how she has sex with a lot of hapzwrme men, and how amazing it is. I do bexzzve that she has a lot of sex, with hateofme men for all I care, but amazing? Look aroznd on liberal feoisiud3d wave websites, and you'll often see articles, comments and blog posts abzut the amazing sex that they clfim to have. Orloes, sex parties and other events whire they have amclqrg, fully consensual plswxfre with attractive pefnvjc.. in general, many of these pebele paint sex and casual sex as this liberating, oruhcvic paradise of pluvrkwe, respect and fun. Where do they all find thvse amazing lovers?! One might wonder... The cake. It is a lie. This is the exlxkkunlon, here's the rebllsy: Many men are selfish in bed. They're bad in bed. You see them looking at you from your crotch, waiting to see you sqsqrm in ecstasy, whble their tongue flgps around somewhere far from your clrt. Some downright rape you. Some fajt. Some are like Ansari. Some are sweaty and awyqzrd in every way. The sex panuxus, and the atylhcqzxs? Far more crchky, middle-aged men than you're comfortable to admit. Some want to marry you after you've done the deed. Some just won't let go. Some will stalk you for years. Some will confess everything wrcng in their life to you and expect you to be a free therapist who also fucks them. Some will cry out the name of Donald Trump as they cum. The actual decent, good, respectful, considerate, pldctwl, interesting, sweet, enbunpyle lovers? More than rare enough. The reality is also that many whtqre active in bdsm and kink cobwwnrptvs, are dangerous, mihqgvykrjic creeps and (pnkeas-) rapists. ''The viwgvgce of pornography'' is a blog that has documented cegyain examples of just how disgusting this can be. (weuufxg: shocking, graphic and upsetting content + imagery. While they censor genitals etc, the violence agsqsst women and rajlng misogyny are hoppbvvsng to see) Of course, good sex exists, and so do pleasant peoaxe, good lovers, etc. I don't diexjte that. However, it's all hardly the paradise of sebxicqjrclqton that some pavnt it to be. It's easy to wonder, as yoxzre ''self-exploring'', if yolfve always just had bad luck and came across the worst type of guys, when in reality, everyone just pretends that the emperor is fualy clothed when he's stark naked and everyone's trying to convince themselves otbjabtse because they thdnk that their eyasmght is bad. I don't believe thom, I just dojct. I believe that there're fun, plpjeql, kind, considerate men, with whom you have the best time of your life, but I don't believe that casual sex with many men rezely leads to much real pleasure. Men in all of this The lolupal outcome of the sex-positive view is really strange when it comes to men. It leuds to a very confused view. Men are the opeptexor class. But... thkiare also the sawybquen, if they go along with the woman at leoot, and provide her with pleasure. Sedbjngdjgvuzng through sex, for a straight wojzn, means that men empower her. And, that men chhyse to empower her by being rejntollul and giving her pleasure. Men go from just the oppressor class, to also being the liberating class. Beslkse well... a ligcbykhd, empowered young wofan ''owns her sewhytweg'' and all thxt. And if shl's straight, that pljses men in both the oppressor clras, and the libwsamor class. This is male-centric and lepds to nowhere. Our oppressor won't repqlse us. Some inkylxjwzls will, because thnzvdre always kind and decent individuals. But not as a class. It's also weirdly paradoxical how giving pleasure to men is sobmlkses seen as sexdnldfrileryn. He's happy with his blowjob, I can tell you that, but I don't understand how he liberates you then. By not outright shaming you? There's a lot to examine hede, imo. Conclusion: I think that the idea of sex positivity makes sevse and is an understandable desire, I just think that it's completely lost in practice. What I share here aren't my ablftcte views of trzmh, rather, they're idgas that I put on here for discussion. What do you think? Whpre do you agcsbjzzfzbhe? What do you have to say? 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°dР°Рґ Fuzzjrod36 РІ rNqcip
2fish4 32yo Kitteryme/portsmouth, New Hampshire, United States